dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
