I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
