It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
