dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
