return my video game
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
