I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I am one with the molecules
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
as a side note pls kill me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
