If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
