he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
