my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
