at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
