Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A bitchslap is in order.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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