Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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