After last night, I could never be a politician.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
