saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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