Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
