I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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