Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
