My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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