This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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