We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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