Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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