Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
