it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
