just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
