It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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