Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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