So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
