does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
