My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
