Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
