i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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