he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
