Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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