There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
BRING THE BAGELS
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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