Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
