If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i dont even know how to be here
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
