Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
