I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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