and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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