do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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