Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
