another moral hangover. fuck.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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