I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
