i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
