when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
