Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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