he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
