So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
