I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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