in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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