is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
