I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
