Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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