I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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